


i saw mommy kissing santa claus

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Drugs, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-21
Updated: 2008-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-03 08:13:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12744447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Uchi still believes in Santa Claus. Jin believes in SantaPi.





	i saw mommy kissing santa claus

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

“Are you sure you can pull this off?” Ryo asks skeptically. “If you ruin Christmas for him, I’ll hurt you in a very inconspicuous place.”

Yamapi rolls his eyes and heaves a sigh. “Ryo-chan, you act like I’ve never played Santa before.”

Ryo tilts his head into a knowing look and lets his expression speak for him.

“ _Really_ ,” Yamapi insists. “I’ll take care of it, promise.”

Ryo’s eyes travel down to Yamapi’s midsection. “Maybe you should have Jin do it. It might be more convincing.”

“I am a way better Santa than him,” Yamapi says firmly, folding his arms and fixing Ryo with a determined look. “Hiro-chan will have the best Christmas ever.”

“He better,” Ryo says darkly. “This is his first Christmas away from home since he was suspended, and we’re too busy to -”

“I’m on it,” Yamapi assures him. “Don’t worry about him, just drop him off on Christmas Eve and SantaPi will take care of the rest.”

Ryo still does not look convinced, but Yamapi doesn’t give him time to reconsider.

He has arrangements to make.

::

“How old is he?” Jin asks with a laugh, jerking with the car on the TV and cutting Yamapi off as well as practically falling in his lap.

“Twenty-two,” Yamapi replies. “But that’s not the point, Jin. Christmas is a very special time of the year for those who still believe. Do you remember when you found out Santa Claus wasn’t real?”

Jin jerks on purpose this time, crashing into Yamapi’s car _and_ his side, causing the other to wince as Jin grins satisfactorily. “Nope, but I remember when you did!”

Yamapi rolls his eyes. “I’m _younger_ than you -”

“By like, a year,” Jin amends. “And that excuse only worked when you were cute and little.”

“I’m still cute!” Yamapi argues. “And it was _you_ who ruined Christmas for me, asshole.”

Jin grins proudly. “Are you sure you want me in on this?”

“Yes, because Ryo has threatened discomfort to a very uncomfortable place should Hiroki find out the truth.”

Jin squirms. “Fine. But I get to have fun too.”

“You can make the cookies for me to eat,” Yamapi suggests.

“Okay,” Jin replies a little too quickly. “I’ll take _good_ care of SantaPi, don’t worry.”

If there’s one thing that Yamapi doesn’t do, it’s worry. Even if sometimes he should.

::

Uchi’s bundled up in trendy layers when he’s dropped off on Yamapi and Jin’s doorstep, the exhaust of Ryo’s car fading away before either of them even know he’s there.

“Merry Christmas Eve!” Uchi exclaims, throwing his arms around both of them with no hesitance.

Yamapi vaguely realizes it’s the first time he’s really spent time with Uchi since his reinstatement to Johnny’s, which makes him hug more tightly.

Uchi grins. “Thank you for letting me spend Christmas here!”

“It’s our pleasure,” Jin replies, a hint of promise in his voice.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by Yamapi, who looks around Uchi’s head to his roommate. Jin doesn’t appear to be plotting any kind of nefarious scheme, so Yamapi doesn’t give it a passing thought.

Uchi’s still halfway holding onto him as they relocate all the way inside, Jin leading them down the hallway to his room.

“But where will you sleep?” Uchi asks, eyes wide with concern.

“With -” Jin starts, then changes tactics when Yamapi waves his arms wildly from behind Uchi. “… on the couch,” he answers clearly.

Uchi pouts. “Then you’ll get to see Santa!”

“That’s okay,” Yamapi tells him. “Jin’s getting coal this year anyway. He was very naughty.”

“Yes, I was,” Jin says seriously. “I’m at the top of the naughty list.”

Uchi laughs and starts peeling off his layers. He looks like an old man in a turtleneck and Christmas sweater, which Jin is eyeing and biting his lip like he can hardly contain the many jokes that want to be made.

“Do you like it?” Uchi asks obviously, seeing them both staring. “My mom made it for me.”

“It’s very nice,” Yamapi says before Jin can open his mouth, then guides Uchi to the living room where he plops him in front of the TV. “You can watch or play whatever you want.”

Uchi’s face lights up. “Okay! Will Yamapi play with me? Or -” he offers Jin a conflicting look, like he can’t decide which one he wants.

“It’s okay,” Jin says dismissively. “I have to finish making the cookies. For _Santa_.”

“I hope he knows I’m here,” Uchi frets.

“Santa knows _everything_ ,” Yamapi tells him with a wink.

“Yeah,” Uchi agrees, shaking his hair out of his face as he settles in to get his ass kicked in every game Jin and Yamapi own.

In the kitchen, Jin adds a little something _extra_ to the cookies and feels absolutely no remorse. ‘Tis the season.

::

Yamapi feels a little weird when he eats the cookies, which is of course the first thing he does upon sneaking into his own living room. Very loudly, because this will all have been for nothing if Uchi doesn’t wake up and see him. He doesn’t eat _all_ of the cookies because he needs to watch his weight, regardless of any pillows stuffed under his Santa coat.

The presents from Kanjani8 are all colorful; Yamapi didn’t know there were so many shades of pink as he sets each one under the tree. Then he sees one with _his_ name on it and smiles, happy that they remembered him. They’re all from ‘Santa’, of course, and Yamapi’s heart feels a little warm that Uchi’s other group worked so hard to maintain this image for him.

He hears a noise from the hallway and slowly turns around, getting into the mindset of Santa Claus until he sees the figure staring back at him in red pumps.

“Ho, ho, ho,” Yamapi says flatly, his eyes raking up and down the voluptuous form.

“Santa baby,” Jin sings in a low, husky voice, “I know I’ve been an awful good girl.”

Yamapi almost drops one of the presents, falling to his knees and feeling very, _very_ hot in this get-up. His eyes are trained on Jin as the latter saunters towards him, velvet red dress with the puffy white hem and the slit up the side barely moving with each step. Yamapi wonders when Jin found time to primp, his hair in perfect spirals that frame his face under a Santa hat.

The long, dark eyelashes surrounded by dark-rimmed eyes with sparkly power on the lids come closer, and Yamapi’s breath hitches in his throat when Jin takes his bottom lip into his mouth, his teeth doing nothing to tarnish the shiny pink gloss except leave a little indentation that Yamapi has a strong desire to run over with his tongue.

Now in front of him, Jin carefully removes the present from Yamapi’s lap and places it under the tree, bending over rather blatantly and invitingly enough for Yamapi’s hand to automatically slide up the back of his thigh.

Jin almost loses his balance, gripping onto Yamapi’s shoulder for support. “Santa Claus is a _pervert_ ,” he continues singing.

“Misses Claus is a _skank_ ,” Yamapi sings back.

He lets out a little ‘oof’ when Jin plops into his lap, straddling him in a completely unladylike fashion while the slit of his dress practically goes to his waist. Yamapi follows the exposed skin with his hand until it slides under the material, fingers clutching onto the flesh of Jin’s ass with nothing separating them and pulling him closer as he leans in for a kiss.

Jin giggles against his lips, tilting to fit through the small slit in Yamapi’s beard, hands sliding around Yamapi’s neck and sneaking under his hat into his hair. Yamapi groans and rocks up towards Jin, managing some friction despite the heavy costume, and Jin’s breath leaves him as he quickly hardens under his dress.

A third gasp sounds, and Yamapi’s eyes fly open to see Uchi frozen in the doorway, chest heaving and pajama pants tenting as he stares breathlessly at the sight before him.

Jin turns around and smiles. “I hope you don’t mind, I insisted on accompanying my husband tonight.”

Yamapi thinks that Jin is having entirely too much fun with this, but his mind is a little too clouded to care. “Hiroki,” he says in a low, booming voice. “You shouldn’t be up.”

“I’m curious,” Uchi replies bashfully, gaze lifting up through his bangs to imply both meanings of the word.

“Have a cookie,” Jin tells him, nodding to the half-eaten plate. “Whoever made them is a culinary genius.”

Yamapi feels a sting of paranoia as Uchi does what he’s told. “What did you put in those?” he hisses in Jin’s ear.

“Nothing but love,” Jin replies with a grin, one that has Yamapi praying that Johnny’s doesn’t instate mandatory drug testing in the New Year.

In response, Yamapi latches onto Jin’s ear because it’s there and he likes the noises Jin makes as he sucks and nibbles on the earlobe. Jin ends up turning around to face Uchi, rocking back against Yamapi in a way that has the latter gripping Jin’s hips and ready to flip up the back of Jin’s dress and unfasten his pants.

“Santa baby,” Jin coos, followed by a breathless laugh. “Shouldn’t Hiro-chan get his presents?”

“Presents?” Uchi repeats, a grin that’s not entirely natural forming on his face.

“Lightweight,” Yamapi whispers, and Jin laughs again as he reaches to the side for a box Yamapi hadn’t seen before. He watches with interest as Jin places the box on his lap, discreetly sneaking it under his dress and wiggling around until he’s presumably situated.

“For you,” Jin says to Uchi, biting his lip again as Uchi excitedly kneels in front of him.

When Uchi pulls the top off of the box, Yamapi buries his face in Jin’s shoulder to muffle his slightly inebriated laughter. He lifts his eyes just in time to see Uchi’s face go through a series of expressions as he presumably figures out what it is and who it’s attached to.

“For me?” Uchi repeats with wide eyes, and Yamapi laughs harder.

Jin nods enthusiastically. “You can do whatever you want with it.”

It’s not until Jin arches that Yamapi realizes Uchi stuck his head into the box, taking his ‘present’ into his mouth and sending Jin into a squirming frenzy in Yamapi’s lap. He strains his neck around and attacks Yamapi’s mouth, careless to how much of the fake white hair got on his tongue as it curled with Yamapi’s. It’s quite a pornographic kiss, but being as Yamapi’s ready to bend Jin over right here under the Christmas tree, it seems appropriate.

When they pull apart, it’s because Uchi has stopped and is staring at them intently, surreptitiously licking his lips as he remains on his knees, looking like a tiger ready to pounce. Yamapi’s reaching for him before he can process it, gently brushing his hair out of his face as he looks dotingly at the younger.

“I didn’t know Santa-san was that way,” Uchi says, blinking a little too much for someone who only had one cookie. “But I don’t mind.”

“Clearly,” Jin says, placing a manicured nail under Uchi’s chin to lift him up. “Santa likes to share.”

Uchi’s eyes glaze over as he looks down into the box again. “I really like my present.”

“I’m glad,” Jin replies, hissing as Uchi reaches his hand down to stroke him. “Mm, wanna ride it?”

“Slut,” Yamapi whispers affectionately, and Jin grins.

Instead of answering, Uchi gently pulls the box away, eyes flicking up at Jin’s moan from his own underestimation of how big the hole should be. Jin’s panting by the time he’s exposed, eyes slit just enough to watch Uchi as he embarrassedly steps out of his pajama pants.

Yamapi immediately feels protective and takes matters into his own hands, pulling Uchi into Jin’s lap and reaching into Jin’s extra-long stocking for the flavored tube that he’d originally gotten as a gag gift.

He presents it to Jin anyway. “Merry Christmas, Ji- Misses Claus,” and grins when Jin snorts, covering his mouth with his hand as he accepts the present. Then Uchi grabs Yamapi’s beard and claims his mouth, the resulting squawk of surprise barely registering over Jin’s jealous growl and rush to utilize the tube. Uchi starts moaning and rocking against them, arms wrapped around them as he struggles to concentrate on kissing Yamapi while Jin adequately prepares him.

Yamapi is a little amazed when Jin’s hand is harshly pulled away and Uchi’s sitting down on him, gasping into Yamapi’s mouth as Jin falls back and rolls his hips upwards. Uchi easily bounces up and down once he becomes used to Jin inside him, and Yamapi feels fingers on his chin before he’s forcefully pulled away from Uchi and into a heated kiss with Jin.

Uchi leans back and really _rides_ , looking like he’s trying to stay on a bucking bronco as Jin keeps thrusting upwards and groaning into Yamapi’s mouth. Yamapi finds the discarded tube and sneaks his hands back under Jin’s dress, where he has the other crying out and tightening his grip on Uchi’s hips even more as Yamapi teases him a bit before finally poking inside.

“Oh god,” Jin breathes, spreading his legs and moving at a new angle that has Uchi faltering and reaching for Jin’s shoulders. “Don’t stop.”

Uchi’s moaning too much to respond, but Yamapi reaches for his belt and slides under Jin enough to serve the purpose. “I’m going to fuck you so hard,” he breathes in Jin’s ear. “You and your kinky shit.”

“Please,” Jin whines, completely out of it as Uchi curls his hand around himself and strokes firmly. “Santa, please.”

Rolling his eyes, Yamapi positions them and practically clamps his hands on Jin’s hips, bringing them down and hissing at the way it feels around him. He manages to kick off the pants enough to thrust up, indirectly pushing Jin further into Uchi and meeting the momentum as it comes back his way. Jin’s practically screaming, caught in the middle with one hand on Uchi’s hip and the other in Yamapi’s real hair.

He feels Jin come before the latter can vocalize it, holding him right as his body rocks through the convulsions and leaving Uchi hanging. “Suck him off,” Yamapi hisses, taking great pride in bending Jin over just like he wanted to and groaning as he rams into him from behind.

Uchi has no problem kneeling in front of Jin and guiding his cock to Jin’s shiny lips, which lazily open for him and don’t do much of anything else. Uchi takes it upon himself to twist his fingers in Jin’s curls and use his hips to push in and out of Jin’s mouth, eliciting a satisfied groan from Jin as Yamapi’s fierce thrusts has him meeting Uchi’s rhythm without trying.

Yamapi’s hands are firm on Jin’s round ass, unsuccessfully attempting to hold him still as he fucks him with wild abandon and loses control of his voice as he feels himself start to go over the edge.

Uchi wails with him, shuddering harshly as he explodes inside Jin’s mouth and falls back against the couch, one hand flying up to unbutton his pajama shirt as the heat is presumably overcoming him.

Yamapi thinks that Uchi doesn’t know what hot _is_ unless he’s been in a Santa costume with extra fat added and a heavy beard while approaching orgasm. Right now he wants nothing more than to rip it all off, but that would ruin the illusion and Ryo’s threat still hangs over his head. He sucks it up and takes it out on Jin, palm smacking against his bare ass as Jin tightens around him and Yamapi inevitably lets go.

Uchi’s eyelids are droopy when Yamapi comes back to reality, in the comfort of Jin’s arms as the latter tries to kiss around his beard. “My god.”

“I know,” Jin whispers, and Yamapi realizes that Jin’s holding onto him for his own support too.

A light snore sounds from next to them, and they both smile when they see that Uchi has fallen asleep. “Should we leave him out there?”

“Nah,” Yamapi replies, finding the strength to return his pants to their previous condition and scoop Uchi up into his arms. He deposits him in Jin’s bed and turns to look at Jin, or a completely debauched version of Misses Claus propped up in his own doorway.

“Come on, Santa baby,” he whispers, reaching out with both hands. “Let’s go to bed.”

Yamapi halfway scoops him up on the way and practically throws him down onto the bed when they get to his room, kicking the door shut behind them and shedding the costume first thing. The air feels like heaven to his suffocated skin, a relieved sigh leaving his lungs as he opens his eyes and sees Jin staring at him from behind his mussed makeup, sprawled across the bed in a way that has Yamapi pouncing on him, his arousal coming back to life as Jin giggles and accepts his kiss.

::

The next morning, Uchi happily opens his presents while Yamapi and Jin watch, the remainder of the cookies wrapped up for Uchi to take back to Ryo.

“Did you see Santa last night?” Jin asks carefully, hiding a smile.

Uchi’s face turns red. “Nope,” he replies, concentrating on a hot pink box with a green bow. “I must have just missed him.”

“Oh?” Yamapi inquires. “He left you a lot of presents, though.”

“Yeah,” Uchi replies as he pulls out a pink fedora and immediately puts it on his head. “It pays to believe.”

“Yeah it does,” Jin mumbles, snuggling into Yamapi’s embrace as the latter feels like there is a Santa Claus after all.


End file.
